smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I want to make a zoo with you.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
