Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
