Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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