If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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