No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
