Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it's like heaven, but drunker
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
