let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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