Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
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Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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