I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
