I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
