fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
