I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
