I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
