I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
