he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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