Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize