I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
