How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize