After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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