..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
