So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just found puke in my bra..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
