I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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