Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
