in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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