I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize