he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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