I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
