I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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