i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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