And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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