I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
