thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
birth control should be required to get into college
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
