i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
