dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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