Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
