On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
