Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
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Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.