we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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