Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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