These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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