remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
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Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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