she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
