Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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