My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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