i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
