but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
