I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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