I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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