how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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