I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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