he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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