these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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