I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We're too hungover to prance.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I forget how to act sober
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
