No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
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And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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