the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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