one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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