So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
