she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
