Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
